I must have lost my mind

I don't understand it. Why would I voluntarily agree to place myself in the CH teen class on a weekly basis, pray tell? I've dealt with kids every day, all day long, for over twenty years. Why would I want to do that at church, and with kids I can't even beat?! And what's even more mind boggling, I actually enjoyed last night's class! I can't believe that I can use the word "enjoyed" in describing that experience. (I know, I know--it's only been one week. Wait until it's been months and months and months of all that teen drama. Just wait! I'm sure that post is forthcoming.) I honestly thought that my days of being directly involved with teens were over, and after watching the weekly chaos I was, quite frankly, overjoyed that they were! Don't get me wrong, I love teenagers, but just thinking about all the energy expended on them every week wore me out. I was glad that I wasn't the one having the life blood drained out of me every Wednesday! But whatever. I don't think I will ever be able to escape my past, because it always leads me back to an unsaved 17-year-old girl whose whole heart and life were miraculously transformed by a patient and loving God. I see her and I am reminded that God can do anything. He can save the unsaveable. He will! Oh, but where are the people who will stand in the gap and contend for their souls? I would like that to be someone else's job. Or perhaps I'd like to take it before God on occassion and feel justified that I'm doing my part. But God is calling out for intercessors who will find His heart. Prayer warriors who won't be satisfied until the Father-heart of God is burning within them. I'm not there yet. I know, in my mind, that that is where I need to be, but I'm still praying through to the place where seeing the salvation of teens, and every soul, becomes an all-consuming desire. That is the missing element in my spiritual life and one that only God can impart. So I ask and I wait. I know it will come. And I long for the sweetness of that new season.